VD

So, I had this crush on a co-worker. She knows. I told her. It’s been awkward for a few weeks, She had stated that she was cool hanging out, but then she became super busy, like everyday. I couldn’t even entice her with a home cooked meal. Then I knew she wasn’t interested. My feelings totally cooled, but I would’ve like to have been friends.

I think, well really I don’t think at all. I have no idea what she could be thinking. I don’t care. I know I got the picture. I wish she understood we could be real cool friends, sorry my attraction got in the way. Maybe I should go ahead and tell her that. I mean we could cruise chicks together. I was thinking she would be a good license to have going into certain spaces.

I’m not going to create an opportunity to talk about it. If it happens cool. No, then whatever. When is a good time to ask for my dvd back?

I’m not going to lie. I wonder what she’s doing and what she’s thinking. I wish I was in her life, actually anyone’s life. The reality is I need to refocus. I barely live on 29k in the SF Bay area. I am going through a divorce that isn’t ugly, but extremely draining. I’m a teacher, which is a draining profession. I work extra jobs…no sympathy…I am a hard working American that belongs to a multitude of minority groups.

The clearer my reality becomes I feel a bit bleek, but again I have to regroup the real pieces that fit together. These pieces of the puzzle, the true reality of what I am in charge of putting in place encompass…frustration…texture…connectiveness…a picture/always a clear goal…satisfaction…completion.

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